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Texas, Circa 1995
by TheEtruscan at 14:08 January 18, 1996
I had lived in Texas for three years and I was still finding it amusing. Texas must be a state of mind. After moving to Texas I lived first in Arlington. Once I went to the grocery store to buy a bottle of wine and no matter how hard I looked I could not find any. Later I learned that Arlington is "dry" but it is legal to have an aisle full of beer! I knew I was in trouble when at the pawn shop the country music CDs were locked more securely than the guns. I lived for ten years in Toronto, Canada and for fifteen years in Southern California and very few people ever questioned my accent (I am an Italian). In Texas almost everyone does. If I was going to attempt to lose my accent, I would certainly not pick a Southern accent! During a lunch in the break area at my work I was saying that my eldest daughter (born and raised in North America) after graduating from UCLA was in Japan teaching English and a Level one support person interjected: "What with an accent?" I didn't know that accents were hereditary. I am having lunch with an English woman I am meeting through the personal ads and I am complaining what a horrible experience I am having in Texas because of my accent. No, no, they are beautiful, warm people she tells me. Later she tells me she almost had a nervous breakdown when she first moved to Texas because of the hard time she was experiencing! AT&T has now a "True Voice" program. So here I am trying to say: "OPERATOR" into the mouthpiece and I succeed after a moment of panic on my second attempt. Later I learn from an article that the Brits cannot connect at all. So much for the mother country! Recently I bought a house in Colleyville and as I drove along Glade Road I counted five churches (there are at least sixteen churches in all of Colleyville - population 16,000). If there were a God, which one would He choose? I dated a Texan woman and we broke up because I didn't get along with her eleven years old daughter who thinks I am strange when her father has supervised visiting rights because of something he did. She also thinks it is all right for her father to have a girlfriend but not for her mother to have a boyfriend. (It would be interesting to know what her father does with his girlfriend since he liked catamites but this is an entirely different matter). Analytical thinking must be a subject not taught in the religious school she attends. If it were the pupils could start thinking for themselves and question the Bible. Very undesirable and outrageously liberal. Religious schools and home schooling are getting very popular in Texas. Texas twin state is Oklahoma. Oklahoma is even more religious than Texas. The divorce rate in Oklahoma is twice the national average. The above Texan woman in a complete makeover is now in the C & W scene. There is a place called Cowboys in Arlington that seems very popular so I decided to check it out but I could not go passed the sidewalk of the main entrance because the smell of smoke was so overwhelming. Orange County in Southern California is conservative because people there think they are rich or they are going to be rich. In Texas people are conservative even when poor because they are so righteous. My daughter and I stopped at a McDonald's in Abilene, Texas on her way to take one of my cars to California. As she was looking at the menu she made the point that some hamburger combinations were priced cheaper in Californa. They must be bigger in Texas proclaimed the proud Texan McDonald helper!